Reasons I am happy with my new "life":
I am busier. I was wallowing in boredom prior to this change. Now I still have plenty of time to get my work done, so I'm not too busy at Ziplocal, just busy enough.
I love the change of pace that comes with nannying 2 days a week. Sitting on the floor playing with Lola at 10 am is awesome. Going to visit my grandpa Reeve who lives 2 minutes away at 1 pm is great. And then I am happier to go to my desk job the next day and just sit at my computer for 8 hours.
I love the feeling of freedom of not being tied to a time clock all the time. I am still working the same number of hours (or more), but it feels different. And I like that feeling.
Those things above I jotted down while I was at Carson's basketball game one month ago.
Now? I still feel the same. I still am happy with my decision. I am happy with my new life.
It is feeling more and more like my new "normal" and I like that. I hope Jeanette is still happy with the arrangement.
There are some other things in my life I am trying to figure out. Some things I wish I felt more peace about.
Life is a work in progress, right?
Here are some random thoughts I've had lately:
It is crazy how many times a day while I am sitting at my desk that I think, "I'm bored/I'm hungry" and want to reach for something to munch on. BAD HABIT! I am working on this one.
Along the same lines, I wonder where my self control and motivation went. I KNOW what to do to be healthy and lose weight. I have done it. It is possible. I was talking to a personal trainer at the gym, and he was telling me the things I should be doing, and I kept saying, "Yep, I know that, and that, and that." I know all the tricks, all the things I SHOULD be doing, but for some reason I am struggling to do them.
Last night, I was feeling yucky from all the junk I had eaten all weekend. I was thinking about how I needed to stop eating sugar for awhile at least, as I think it is giving me headaches. And then, in the next minute, I went and found some Reese's Pieces and started eating them by the handfuls. Even while I'm thinking that I am killing myself. It is a crazy place to be in.
Today I am doing a little better. I am stretching my self control muscle today, and I feel good about what I accomplished today.
I was thinking yesterday that I need to work on one day at a time. I keep looking to the future and wanting things to be different, but I am not focusing enough on the little steps I need to take to get to those bigger changes. So, I did today. And now it's time to think about tomorrow.
And tomorrow looks like some fruits and veggies for snacks instead of Reese's pieces. And getting up in the morning to go exercise again.
This is one of the many, many pictures of my cute Hailey that I found on my iPad after I had been at their house. Such a cute, crazy, love able girl!